I walked into University with God. Up till then Christianity to me was about my relationship with God, about walking with Him and learning about His heart and will. Young Jae had much to learn yet.
Entering the SJ fellowship was one of the more precious things that have happened in my life. It was at SJ that God showed me how important community in Christ is, and where I learnt how to love the Bride of Christ.
(I have written another post all about that experience.) Long story short would be that God showed me how by grace he led me to pray for the siblings I judged in high school, and in college, we all grew to understand the value of taking our walks with God seriously, and the value of loving one another and spurring each other on towards God. God blessed me richly by showing me not just the power of prayer, but His transformative power over all our lives, not to mention His graciousness to me even in my blindness and limited understanding to allow me to be able to pray!
Some of those individuals I did not understand well back then are most treasured siblings in Christ today who encourage me to much, and whom I love dearly. This transformation in them and myself is one of the realities that makes God's presence so undeniable to me.
This is not to say that I did not face challenging stumbles through my years of college. I did fail many times, but God sustained me by grace and mercy despite my rebellious, weak, and deceptive heart.
God further blessed me with personal impressions, and affirmation in what I determine to do, before my fourth, and final year of college. Before fourth year, we were to self-reflect about who we are, and I acknowledged myself as pessimistic, volatile, bitter, hypocritical, emotional, fearful, selfish. And yet, I saw in myself joy, constancy, hope, peace, and care. And I saw that all that was flawed in me was my flesh, and anything good was given by God. And God impressed upon me that yes I was complicated, but I was His masterpiece. He was with me in Spirit.
Graduating and moving to the working stage of life has been very good as I finally am able to commit to the many activities that I longed to commit to such as fully engaging in bible study, fellowship (which I did not do in my fourth year), Sunday school, discipleship, etc, etc. And goodness has God been good and taught me much! I hope to be more faithful and constant, as I am still prone to distractions of this world.
I yearn, I LONG! To be ready to do my mission, and look at everything I go through as preparation for what He will have me do for His Kingdom, as I felt I was to do before I went into my post-secondary education.
I know I am closer, yet still far, and not yet ready. But I hope for that season. I am full of joy in what He teaches me, and in the fellowship I have the opportunity of experiencing with other believers who also love God, another blessing that I have longed for since my childhood. I receive encouragement, give encouragement and walk alongside other siblings in Christ-- God has been very very very gracious to me.
I praise Him for all He has done for this simple fool, and I hope to continue to honour Him with my life!
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