Child-like Trust

Simple little things in life remind me of my need to trust our Heavenly Father in all ways.

It started with a cherry. Or cherries.

Late at night I was sharing some cherries with my father, sort of like a midnight snack, and I came across a cherry with a bump. Unsure of whether it was good to eat or rotten, I put it back in the bowl. Kind of "rotten", pardon the pun, of me? For one it occurred to me to ask my father whether it was alright to eat it. It reminded me of how when you're a kid you always ask your parents whether food or fruits (or anything pretty much) is alright to eat. You're unsure, you don't know what a rotten fruit is, or if the hole in the apple is a puncture or a wormhole, or if the brown skin on the plum means that the plum has gone bad or if it is just dry skin. You rely on your parents to tell you that it is okay to go ahead and consume and enjoy the fruit.

Another thought that occurred to me as I placed the cherry back in the bowl was that when my father came across the cherry, he would know whether to eat it or not without me having to ask.

A short episode from a few days before came back to my mind. I was blow-drying my hair and facing the door when I noticed an odd insect I was unfamiliar with sitting on the door. I watched it warily like a hawk watching its prey. Trust me, I am deadly and deathly fearful of insects, especially ones I knew nothing about. The said insect sat pretty still for a few minutes, so I finally deemed it relatively safe. It was far enough from me and perhaps it would move away far enough from the door by the time I was done by my hair. However, when I did finish with my hair, the creature suddenly left its spot on the door and came flying right at me. I did what most girls (even some, like in my case, teenaged ones) in my place would. I screamed. Or shrieked. Call it what you will.

What happened next? Of course my parents called from the living room asking what was wrong. I tried to reassure them I was fine, the insect now having flown to a nearby wall, with me desperately swinging the hair-dryer in its direction. I yelled that there was simply some large weird insect on the wall. The next thing I knew, my Dad came running in with a plastic bag. I pointed to the insect, and he scooped it up with barely a word. And it was gone.

These two episodes are simple and to an extent ridiculous. But they reminded me of a similar not so subtle theme that can be summed up in these points:
1) Children trust their parents to know what they do not.
2) Children trust their parents to protect them from what they are afraid of.
3) Children trust their parents to tell them that it is alright to go ahead with what they are unsure of.

Children also trust their parents in a lot of other ways and things, but to keep this short, I shall not elaborate. (:

The simple message that I'm trying to bring across is the reminder that we all need to have child-like faith, and child-like trust in our heavenly Father. Like a child who runs to her father when she is unsure of whether it is alright to eat an apple with a hole indented in its skin, or like a small child who runs to his father when he is afraid of a fierce dog, we must run to God when we face uncertainties or things that frighten us in life. Even though we know this, we often turn to other things for support and to snuff out our fears, things that are temporary and fleeting.

Having child-like trust takes humility. It is almost like an admission of weakness, of inability to protect or be sure of yourself. But the truth is, humans are weak and vulnerable, but we are proud. It is harder that it sounds to take that courageous step to be humble. Yet it is not impossible and again, this is a saving grace.

And this saving grace is a gift we can take.

Lovely eating cherries.

Level Up!

Sometimes as Youths we wonder whether what we believe in is just fed off other people's passion for God.

Its easy to believe when you're in the company of good Christian friends, its so easy to be a Christian. Its easy when you were born in a Christian family, when your parents impress these beliefs on you and have for your whole life. Its easy when the people closest to you approve of your belief.

Yet at times, whether it be happy or sad, we can't help but wonder whether its all real, whether we really believe. When we're alone, when there's no one there to sway our opinion.

Personally, I felt for a long period of time that a change in direction in my life had distanced me from good Christian influences. It was from being surrounded by close Christian friends and family, to being in an environment where I had to struggle daily to remember who I was, and what I was doing there. I felt stifled, and that I'd lost my way. There was no encouragement like I was used to. There was no Christian support from the friends I'd had previously when I was down, or worried, or needed help. I felt, simply to put it, worldly, and when you've tasted something better, somehow gorging on scraps of junk never makes you feel right. Its like after you've tasted coffee with sugar and milk, you hardly want to drink coffee without it again.

So for the longest time as I mentioned, I felt very far from God. I wondered why he would deprive me of all the good influences, all the things that I thought helped me grow. They did, but there was something I had not realized. I began to question and wonder whether all those influences were what had made me grow. Was it the circumstances in which I was in that had been the factors of my "Relationship with God"- my Christianity.

And finally God blessed me with a realization. It was by no means anything sudden, it was more gradual. Its pretty amazing how God just worked me up to this slowly. For days I'd been getting the message of returning to Him, keep talking to Him, that he would heal me and be my refuge. Indeed, I'd felt broken. God knows just what we need. All those good influences that had been a strong and dominant factor in my life before, they did help me grow, they did encourage and strengthen me when I felt weak and God did use some of my friends and family to speak to me and cheer me on in my walk. But there always comes a time when everything fades away. (Cliche sorry..) And you feel like you're left with nothing, but you know you're supposed to still have God. But you don't feel Him.

Taking your relationship with God to a different level in your walk is not always easy. For myself, I've come to realize that the removal of other distractions in my life have led me to where I have to simply face Him. My sole guide indeed is the Holy Spirit- God. There's nothing wrong with having Christian influences, but I now recognize that they put a barrier between my direct interaction and reliance on God and God alone. It was a personal hurdle that God is teaching me to overcome, and I can't say I've overcome it yet. But this is a time for me where I'm stripped of any dominant Christian figures in my life that impacted me spiritually- in a way that I can only describe as loud. (Not the best word.)

I can't say I know everything there is to my current situation, for only God can see the total big picture, but God's blessed me to be able to see, that right now in my life, He wants me to continue growing with HIM leading, and no other.