My first post in this blog was about Identity.
Two years later, I find myself at my Friday night fellowship in a discussion about the very same topic.
What is identity?
How do you define yourself?
What does it mean to have your identity in Christ?
What are some struggles between your identity in the world and you identity in Jesus?
(Typical questions enough. Though I found them really really broad.)
I decided to give Identity more thought.
"I am God's beloved."
At the core, that's what I believe my identity is. Do I tell people when they ask me who I am? Not really. I'd like to. Perhaps I'm afraid they won't understand. I mean I spent a lot of last night talking to people who all asked me a question along similar lines: I'm a first year, and I'm a student, so everyone naturally has been asking "How's Fashion School?"
Yes, I confess I'm in fashion school. Not what y'all expected eh?
Now before everyone goes judging– Nevermind, you already have– I felt that most of the people who asked me how school was were looking at me in a certain way. Sadly, its ironic how church people condemn with good intentions. My worldy program is not an easy one to be in as a Christian, and I understand why they would view the Fashion world in the way they do. Especially when they don't know a lot about it, and Western Media has made it so clearly of flesh.
And I know some look down on us. Or take for granted all the work that people who work in the Industry do. They see Fashion students as people who aren't very bright, or hardworking. They see them as ditzy, glamourous, flashy. I can just see it running off in their minds. Worldly person! Must not associate.
I do not think that I am a complete idiot. I think that humans tend to live up to other people's views of them. Its easier than to fight to prove that you're more than what others think of you. Especially when people are set on seeing you the way that they do.
I was not always a Fashion conscious person. Even now, I wouldn't say I'm immersed in it. I would gag in the high-couture world. I prefer the target-market orientated Fashion industry. Which is why Vancouver's is so perfect for me. How you portray yourself is an expression of your character. When I put on a blood red cardigan over a completely black outfit (black shirt, pants, boots), I'm telling a story. I love meaning in accessories, symbols, etc.
I was the book immersed girl in elementary school.
The quiet conservative student in high school.
The caring, responsible student who got straight A's, well almost straight, I had one B on my transcripts, in PE. And I chose Fashion. The subject that I had the lowest marks in in Grade 12. Why?
I have no idea. I really hate it sometimes. The way that the industry works.
I'm still asking God weekly. Why am I here? No matter the reason, I'm still living for Him alone. He's everything to me. And if that means I have to work my hands off through this program, I will.
I just wish that when I came to people's minds, they would not see me as "Fashion Student" but "God's beloved". I wish that when they asked how I was they would ask "How is life? What has God been revealing to you lately?" instead of "How's Fashion School?"
I can see how people define me by the questions they ask. I wish that they would bother to dig beneath what I am identified as in this world.
I am greatly disturbed by this, and I have to reflect and ask myself. Is that how I define people? By identities other than the most fundamental core that their lives are built on?
