Catalogue

We know that God is constantly with us in our lives, and often cares for us in ways we do not expect. Its also insane to think of how many problems there are in the world, from trivial to extreme, and yet the ruler and Lord of all the universe still is so great that He chooses and is able to tend to each and every one. Sometimes it may not seem that He does, but perhaps we come to this conclusion more so because of the fact that what we wanted to happen, or felt should have happened, did not. Coming round to the root, its about understanding His character, why He is working a certain way. 

My (main) problem of yesterday was petty. It was self-centered, it was rooted in insecurity, and the weakness of the flesh. I received a call from my siblings after I got in the house, letting me know that they were out without me, doing an activity we had agreed we would do together earlier this month. Having been left to my own devices for the day by friends, I had anticipated at least getting to do something with them. Family had not let me down yet. However, yesterday, I was in short, upset. Upset because I felt let down by my friends and my family. 

I struggled briefly with knowing that I needed to rely on God first, and not on any other human in my life. I tried to pick up my bible to read. I tried to pray. However, nothing clicked. I was in the stony silence of my room on a semi-sunny summer's day– a feeling I've hated for a decent amount of time. I headed upstairs. 

There was a catalogue on the kitchen countertop.

I picked the booklet up, and flipped through the catalogue, dejected. 

I sat in silence, bookmarking the catalogue with sticky-notes. With each page, I began to take in detail. Lines, colour, pattern, texture. 

I was enjoying myself. I began to see the catalogue as art in its own form. Each spread put together to appeal to the senses. 

By the time I came to the last page, a peaceful contentment had fallen upon me. It was like sitting by a fireplace, sipping a warm cup of hot chocolate on a blizzardly Winter's night. In fact, I had not felt a peace like that in a while, not from a catalogue, not in Church, not from reading His word. I had to concede. It was not a peace from myself. Its a silly thing to think of from God, but every blessing is from Him. He knows our likes and our dislikes, and just what we need to be cheered up, to be at peace. 

I believe that He sent me that catalogue right then, when the timing was perfect. And beyond just "making me feel better" I knew that He wanted me to know: He knows me best. 

It may have been a foolish problem. It may have been an unconventional solution. Yet, aren't most problems to God? He touches our lives every day, in what we deem to be the smallest of ways. But that's where the walk starts. In the end, it comes back to Him. 

He understands us. Do we understand that of Him? I want to choose to come to Him as well, and seek to understand, not just what is happening in my life, but Him. 

Yesterday, He showed me how He cares, how He knows me, and how gentle and patient He is. 

A Reason to Smile

My faith gives me so much, I don't even fully comprehend it. Loving really does give you so much strength, and my belief gives me a lot of understanding. I don't think I've ever grasped how much God's given me before. And I'll still be continuing to learn as time goes on.

I also never understood how our Christian communities helped us. There was so much political drama and hypocritical junk going on. Truth be told, I was sick of it. I haven't really ever supported Christian community. But I was wrong on a few counts. Yes, we're hypocrites and we will continue to be sinners always. We fail, and we disappoint, but that's where I have to pray for my community, for my Church. I often forget that it is a spiritual battle that we fight in our daily lives that we neglect to realize or remember. Our supporting and loving one another (as we would ourselves) makes us so strong in ways we don't even realize till we get a glimpse of how the world deals with their problems.

I am so so blessed. And thankful.

I also realized one other thing today. What keeps me joyful or happy each day. What is my reason for being positive.

I know, and can define, at this point in my life, that what keeps me going day after day is knowing that my life is precious. My life is obtained and someone actually loved me; thought I was worthy enough– made me worthy enough: to rescue me. Bring me back from an eternity of death. What keeps me going is knowing that I’m loved, and knowing that at the end of the day, I’ll be reunited with that Lover, and till then, with all my heart and gratitude and love, I’ll do anything for Him, because I love Him. I don’t have to work towards anything, but I work, not because I have to slave away all my life to achieve the reward at the end, but because I’m a willing slave for love, for my Lover, my God, my Friend and King.

And life is so sweet. Even when its bitter.

Hallelujah!

Purpose in Life

We're always told that we have a purpose in Life. Still, many people ask what the point of living is.

I don't know how people perceive me, but I'm actually pretty much a pessimist and a realist, I know that being a realist seems to contradict "blind" faith altogether, but what people tend to misunderstand that it is in fact the spiritual world that is more real that anything we can ever physically see. We are so limited by what we can see.

Anyways, being a realist and a pessimist, I acknowledge and understand where people would be coming from if they asked what the point of living is. Lots of people have different motivations for living. I don't know all of them, but I do know one of the more simple reasons why there's a point in living. And I know its totally cliche, but its something that we need constant reminder of, and its so basic that everyone knows it but many people completely miss the point of it. Here goes:

I know that Jesus died for me and that gift of life is a gift of the highest value. How can I just spit in God's face and tell Him His gift isn't good enough for me?

So that's one of my reasons for living. Aside from acknowledging that my work in life is not finished left, I live out of gratitude, respect and Love for God, for His gift of life. Even though I am scum, totally deserving of death and torture, I have been given the greatest gift that could be given, and I would be a total jerk and a complete idiot to give that gift away so easily. Its as simple as that.

The Lesson of Brokenness

Sometimes in order for God to bless you, you need to be broken.

Weak, humble, all of your securities of this world and physical life need to be gone. Your strongest strength taken from you, then God can bless you and give you eternal and lasting strength that can do anything, even the impossible. You must lose yourself to God, to find yourself in God.

Jacob learnt this lesson in a painful way. His strong hipbone shattered. Only then did God bless him and rename him Israel. And his life was changed.

"There is nothing more I need than You,
Nothing I have seen has been more beautiful,
Nothing I have learnt more true,
Than coming to know more of You.

Having been touched by you,
The rest of the whole world fades,
Been broken down,
So I can rise again.

You break me to made me,
You kill me to heal me,
You're in me, I'm in You,
You love me, and I love You."

Rest and Recuperate

A lot of the times, we feel that we should always be on the giving end of things. We’re supposed to be generous, and not a glutton. Its bad to be always the one receiving, surely I must give something to someone else now. Yes, we should be generous, and God loves it when we give and help others. However. its not necessarily bad to be on the receiving end.

In fact, there are times when we should especially seek to be on the receiving end… from God! (No duh.) Sorry couldn’t resist that comment.

As I was saying, sometimes God wants to impart knowledge to you as well. We may feel like we’re dried out, and not as close to God as we used to. Thus, we don’t feel like how we did before. Perhaps others looked to you for support, or help, but recently you feel its been you who needs support and help. You wonder, have you lost that growth or maturity you had before which made you seem stronger or older? This feeling doesn’t have to be a negative thing.

Instead of feeling that you’re surely doomed because you’ve lost touch with the Lord, all the more turn to Him. He wants to fill you up again! Take a break to grow and strengthen your relationship with God. Rest and Recuperate! God wants to walk with and give to you! There’s a time to give and share wisdom, yes, but there’s also a time to receive.

So open up your heart and soul to the Lord and listen.

Ability of perfection

Sometimes you may feel that you have zero ability or no good points at all. Sometimes, we compare ourselves to that bright sunshiny girl who’s perfect. She’s pretty, smart, enthusiastic; everything everyone would want to be friends with. The kind of people who make us feel extremely underachieved.

I guess there’s only one thing to do in these kinds of circumstances.

Don’t be jealous of her. You know that when God gives something to one person, He’ll give something else to another. It doesn't even seem like this is the case 99.9% of the time. However, we do tend to overlook things in our own lives.

You have more in you than you realize. God has blessed each of us with much. And when you find out your potential, don't go around boasting about it. Use it to the best of magnifying God's glory.

And if you ever find out, that sunshiny girl, isn't as sunshiny as she really seems. Sounds like the typical drama, but it does happen in real life at times, and of course, we all know no one's perfect. And even then, don't try to pull that out of the closet. Its okay.

God has His amazing ways of surprising us. Especially when we're feeling lowest in our lives.