Heart and Home Breaking

I recently found out that there is this online business which promotes infidelity. Essentially it is a dating website specifically for married people. It is devastating to learn that businesses like these exist. It offers husbands and wives an extra push towards breaking up their homes on a silver platter, and in addition to this wound, they spread this globally!

I pray that this destructive spirit which breaks up what has been brought together by God will be fought in the spiritual world. Imagine the children affected! The remaining spouse affected! Its truly heart-breaking. 

People hurting people. Trust broken by those closet to you. 

I pray we stand strong with the Lord's overpowering love which overcomes the weak temptations of the flesh. That we desire to seek and learn how to love our husbands, wives, children, in the way that God loves us. In a nurturing and unconditional way. He never says "You don't love me enough and your love isn't good enough," when we offer what we know to be everything– the little and humblest we have. 

He says, "I know that I should have all the glory and love in the universe. All creation sings my praise. You tried, are trying, and I know you will fail. But I forgive and still love you for I know you will also learn to love even more. I see you as you are, as you were and I know who you will be my darling beloved bride. You will/do love me."Yes, He forgives us. Because He knows where our hearts will be at the end. 

He loves and sees our love out of the context that is time. It is when we no longer see the love that our spouse/significant other gives as it is in the present or past time, but in all of present past and future that we are able to overcome the hurdle of holding grudges for current shortcomings. 

As we are not God we cannot see all three. But we can trust that God is working in them just as He is within yourself. 

Maybe that is in itself one of the keys to forgiveness as much as it is one of the keys to loving. Trusting in the Lord, and letting it go to Him. 

Catalogue

We know that God is constantly with us in our lives, and often cares for us in ways we do not expect. Its also insane to think of how many problems there are in the world, from trivial to extreme, and yet the ruler and Lord of all the universe still is so great that He chooses and is able to tend to each and every one. Sometimes it may not seem that He does, but perhaps we come to this conclusion more so because of the fact that what we wanted to happen, or felt should have happened, did not. Coming round to the root, its about understanding His character, why He is working a certain way. 

My (main) problem of yesterday was petty. It was self-centered, it was rooted in insecurity, and the weakness of the flesh. I received a call from my siblings after I got in the house, letting me know that they were out without me, doing an activity we had agreed we would do together earlier this month. Having been left to my own devices for the day by friends, I had anticipated at least getting to do something with them. Family had not let me down yet. However, yesterday, I was in short, upset. Upset because I felt let down by my friends and my family. 

I struggled briefly with knowing that I needed to rely on God first, and not on any other human in my life. I tried to pick up my bible to read. I tried to pray. However, nothing clicked. I was in the stony silence of my room on a semi-sunny summer's day– a feeling I've hated for a decent amount of time. I headed upstairs. 

There was a catalogue on the kitchen countertop.

I picked the booklet up, and flipped through the catalogue, dejected. 

I sat in silence, bookmarking the catalogue with sticky-notes. With each page, I began to take in detail. Lines, colour, pattern, texture. 

I was enjoying myself. I began to see the catalogue as art in its own form. Each spread put together to appeal to the senses. 

By the time I came to the last page, a peaceful contentment had fallen upon me. It was like sitting by a fireplace, sipping a warm cup of hot chocolate on a blizzardly Winter's night. In fact, I had not felt a peace like that in a while, not from a catalogue, not in Church, not from reading His word. I had to concede. It was not a peace from myself. Its a silly thing to think of from God, but every blessing is from Him. He knows our likes and our dislikes, and just what we need to be cheered up, to be at peace. 

I believe that He sent me that catalogue right then, when the timing was perfect. And beyond just "making me feel better" I knew that He wanted me to know: He knows me best. 

It may have been a foolish problem. It may have been an unconventional solution. Yet, aren't most problems to God? He touches our lives every day, in what we deem to be the smallest of ways. But that's where the walk starts. In the end, it comes back to Him. 

He understands us. Do we understand that of Him? I want to choose to come to Him as well, and seek to understand, not just what is happening in my life, but Him. 

Yesterday, He showed me how He cares, how He knows me, and how gentle and patient He is.