Heart and Home Breaking

I recently found out that there is this online business which promotes infidelity. Essentially it is a dating website specifically for married people. It is devastating to learn that businesses like these exist. It offers husbands and wives an extra push towards breaking up their homes on a silver platter, and in addition to this wound, they spread this globally!

I pray that this destructive spirit which breaks up what has been brought together by God will be fought in the spiritual world. Imagine the children affected! The remaining spouse affected! Its truly heart-breaking. 

People hurting people. Trust broken by those closet to you. 

I pray we stand strong with the Lord's overpowering love which overcomes the weak temptations of the flesh. That we desire to seek and learn how to love our husbands, wives, children, in the way that God loves us. In a nurturing and unconditional way. He never says "You don't love me enough and your love isn't good enough," when we offer what we know to be everything– the little and humblest we have. 

He says, "I know that I should have all the glory and love in the universe. All creation sings my praise. You tried, are trying, and I know you will fail. But I forgive and still love you for I know you will also learn to love even more. I see you as you are, as you were and I know who you will be my darling beloved bride. You will/do love me."Yes, He forgives us. Because He knows where our hearts will be at the end. 

He loves and sees our love out of the context that is time. It is when we no longer see the love that our spouse/significant other gives as it is in the present or past time, but in all of present past and future that we are able to overcome the hurdle of holding grudges for current shortcomings. 

As we are not God we cannot see all three. But we can trust that God is working in them just as He is within yourself. 

Maybe that is in itself one of the keys to forgiveness as much as it is one of the keys to loving. Trusting in the Lord, and letting it go to Him. 

Relationships

The life that we have we gave up to God.
The life that He gave back we give away to others.
And so, He can once again fill us,
And others can also in turn, pour themselves into us as well.

Being in relationship isn’t about getting along, being happy all the time, or receiving a crutch we can lean stand on. Its about growth, learning how to lean on God, support your counterpart and allowing your counterpart to support you. 

Its all about having this other person reflecting upon you all the flaws that you do not see in yourself, and allowing you to know where you can improve on. 

Its about having this other person reflecting upon you all the strengths that you do not see in yourself, and allowing you to know what God has blessed you with that you can use to further serve Him and His kingdom. 

Its about learning to care for another as you do yourself. To protect, serve, and uplift to God another, just as you do yourself. 

Loving someone, allows us to learn just how to love everyone else. 

It also has me amazed at how God loves so freely. Realize how much he doesn’t struggle with it like we do. Well… He is love. But it gives me a greater glimpse into His personality. In His patience, wisdom, everlasting strength and power. He is so so able. He is never faint, unlike us. Time is nothing to Him, while it is a complete weakness to us. 

The Third Path

I walked in the sun today. My walk consisted of three main parts.

The first was a reading of Ecclesiastics. Everything is meaningless, everything we chase will one day come to an end. We are no better than anyone else. The future is the same for everyone: Physical death.


The second was of paths. I came upon two paths, and asked Him, which should I tread upon? Which way is better? The long path that takes me around the park, or the shorter cutting through the park. Which way is best to go home?

And I stood there a while. The longer path allows me more time to walk and seek Him before getting home. The shorter path allows me the fastest way home. Which is better? How do I know which will be better?

I turned around, thinking I would walk without seeing which direction I'd end up in. Then, I saw that in life, neither path would be known to me, shorter or longer. It would be only the unknown. The only direction to move was forward. So I walked straight ahead, and onto the third path: the path between that I couldn't see. It was not a paved path, it was bumpy, grassy, and no one else treads this same path. It is my path. I also do not know what the next step will be, because the path is not known to me. However, it is known to God.

This week, I've been struggling with uncertainty, and being unable to plan some things of the future, or be certain of things that are to happen.

Choosing the third path, choosing to trust in Him, includes accepting that the path ahead of you is unseen, might be hard, might be different from everyone else's.

Like all other paths, it will take us home though.

The path might cross other paths, for we are all on journeys; We (saved by Him) will all get home.


The third was on the third path. I came across a tree, same as I came across at the beginning of the week. Half cherry red, half brilliant green, and I was reminded that my life was colourful and full– a realization that had come to me earlier this week (which I do not reiterate at the moment).

Our lives are blessings, and we can take pleasure in living, and growing, but at the end of the day, we also give this all life for eternity, where a different joy takes over.

And I was home.

Facebook Photo Attacks

It always happens: You scroll down the newsfeed. (It's like you're digging for disaster.) A photo pops up. Old friends. Lovers. Enemies. Old memories. You're struck with a familiar sense of tenderness, lined with horror, anger, bitterness, hurt. Your battle scars burn. 

When you feel like life hits you hard reminding you of the people you've lost, think of the people you're blessed and thankful for now. Recognise that God is changing you, and building you. Pray for those in your past, pray for those with you now, pray for those God will bring you. Realize that none were, are, or will be yours.

Remember that they were, are and always will be His. 

This is when can we stand up under these attacks from our pasts.

Its all about Him. 

Catalogue

We know that God is constantly with us in our lives, and often cares for us in ways we do not expect. Its also insane to think of how many problems there are in the world, from trivial to extreme, and yet the ruler and Lord of all the universe still is so great that He chooses and is able to tend to each and every one. Sometimes it may not seem that He does, but perhaps we come to this conclusion more so because of the fact that what we wanted to happen, or felt should have happened, did not. Coming round to the root, its about understanding His character, why He is working a certain way. 

My (main) problem of yesterday was petty. It was self-centered, it was rooted in insecurity, and the weakness of the flesh. I received a call from my siblings after I got in the house, letting me know that they were out without me, doing an activity we had agreed we would do together earlier this month. Having been left to my own devices for the day by friends, I had anticipated at least getting to do something with them. Family had not let me down yet. However, yesterday, I was in short, upset. Upset because I felt let down by my friends and my family. 

I struggled briefly with knowing that I needed to rely on God first, and not on any other human in my life. I tried to pick up my bible to read. I tried to pray. However, nothing clicked. I was in the stony silence of my room on a semi-sunny summer's day– a feeling I've hated for a decent amount of time. I headed upstairs. 

There was a catalogue on the kitchen countertop.

I picked the booklet up, and flipped through the catalogue, dejected. 

I sat in silence, bookmarking the catalogue with sticky-notes. With each page, I began to take in detail. Lines, colour, pattern, texture. 

I was enjoying myself. I began to see the catalogue as art in its own form. Each spread put together to appeal to the senses. 

By the time I came to the last page, a peaceful contentment had fallen upon me. It was like sitting by a fireplace, sipping a warm cup of hot chocolate on a blizzardly Winter's night. In fact, I had not felt a peace like that in a while, not from a catalogue, not in Church, not from reading His word. I had to concede. It was not a peace from myself. Its a silly thing to think of from God, but every blessing is from Him. He knows our likes and our dislikes, and just what we need to be cheered up, to be at peace. 

I believe that He sent me that catalogue right then, when the timing was perfect. And beyond just "making me feel better" I knew that He wanted me to know: He knows me best. 

It may have been a foolish problem. It may have been an unconventional solution. Yet, aren't most problems to God? He touches our lives every day, in what we deem to be the smallest of ways. But that's where the walk starts. In the end, it comes back to Him. 

He understands us. Do we understand that of Him? I want to choose to come to Him as well, and seek to understand, not just what is happening in my life, but Him. 

Yesterday, He showed me how He cares, how He knows me, and how gentle and patient He is. 

Faithful

Someone once used the word faithful to describe this blog. 

Honestly, these posts come at a time of realization– usually the end of the track where I have fallen, or at complete random– in a period of stagnancy in my walk. These are inspirations that push me forward, out of times when I have been weaker. 

Just thought I'd address that. 

Now onto a struggle I've been facing recently. 

I've only on extremely rare occasions considered myself a "fun" person. When I was about eleven or twelve I often asserted an air of superiority over my older cousins, where I would insist on them being more serious in their actions, games and conversation. I often got "stop acting so mature", in response. I received a similar comment from my boyfriend a week ago regarding my views of fun relating to maturity. 

My views of fun have been influenced by conservative notions drilled into my head since young, and the current cultural view of having fun in North America. However, I would like to add one more point of view to the mix– God's. 

I believe God has a sense of humour. Out of everyone you can pick, who would understand joy and laughter more than He? God created pleasure. He took great pleasure in spending time with Adam, with enjoying His creation. Our culture encourages enjoying time with friends (this can sometimes include a more self-centred approach: I want to hang out with others so I can be happy). God encourages fellowship (I want to develop these relationships between her/him and myself, in God). His is a pure and eternal lasting kind of pleasure.

God's sense of fun isn't rigid, or boring, or humourlessly distasteful as I was quick to determine it to be. In the name of morals, I had a skewed view that in order to be appropriate and faithful, one had to silence jokes of this world, puts a stop to their ideas of fun. However, this was not necessarily true in every case. 

I needed to ask myself about truth. True joy, true enjoyment, comes from the Lord. Does the way our temporary culture encourage, portray and reflect God's true joy? Sometimes it could. Sometimes it doesn't. I need to discern between the two. And finally, ask myself how we can choose to manifest God's true joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, goodness, and faithfulness in our interactions in the time we spend with our friends and others that we meet here on Earth. 

I don't feel like I have to be a fun person, but I know that I want to be a person who takes joy in interacting with others, takes pleasure in enjoying our fellowship and activities together, and hopefully our conversation and time together will be able to reflect God's love and care. 

An interpretation of Psalm 64

Sometimes we fear that we're being ungrateful and shouldn't dare bother God with our discontentments and petty issues that put us into moods. However, David makes it a point to issue a complaint to God. He knows that it is better to lift up his problems to God rather than rashly lash out at the problem, in this case, his enemies.

When David lifts this problem up to God, he indicates that he believes that God is in control and ultimately will be the righteous judge who executes justice. If David's enemies truly deserve punishment, David knows that God will be fair.

And David ends off with a reminder that in the end all the righteous need do is trust and praise God, and let Him be our rock and conquerer. The problem is now in His hands.

Sometimes when we do not know what to pray, God gives us His word to pray and meditate on. Psalm 64 isn't so that we can curse our enemies and ask God to smite them with destruction, but so that we can remember to submit to Him, knowing that He sees all. We need only continue to praise Him.