The Invisible Rifts Between Us

When I was in teens worship, I had a strong dislike for various individuals who also attended teens.

My thoughts can be summed up as such:
• They claim to be Christians, but they don't step out of their cliques to make newer members of Teens Worship feel like part of the Church.
• They seem to be shells, whom I try to talk to but don't seem interested in really getting to know me truly.
• They don't seem interested in talking about God's word. Or anything that was more meaningful.
• I can't see where God is in their lives.

And so on. Such presumptuous thoughts.

I struggled a lot on some days with going to service and fellowship with them because of these thoughts and feelings. I eventually shunned them. There was a growing gap between us. It was "Hello" and "How are you?" and "Good!" and "Okay then."

By God's grace, we all continued on to our college fellowship. By His grace, I continued to attend our particular Church.

I would say that a huge theme for me during the first year of university was community. I felt a huge push from God to learn to love my brothers and sisters in Christ. To be there for them. That loving community is the result of loving Him.

So I pushed myself to go to events, to be there, with and in community. And I began to get to know them just a little more. At the end of that year's fellowship retreat I did shared about the above mentioned struggle to love and understand some of these individuals in the Church. And I apologized to them, even if they didn't know about the feelings that I had kept hidden within.

And so I continued to walk with this fellowship. We all did.

~~~

I recently attended a party with a lot of these individuals actually, and my sister later commented that I now get along well with a lot of the individuals that I used to dislike so much. I hadn't actually thought about it by now for quite some time, but I realized that she was right (that's actually what inspired this post).

My moment of revelation however, has to be connected with a reminder that occurred last week. I had been stricken with an unfortunate case of food poisoning, and thus confined to lying in my bed all day. I looked up on my bedroom walls, absolutely bored, and a group of sticky-notes caught my eyes. These sticky-notes had one name on each one, and were all folded in half. I was in that moment reminded, and filled with much gratitude and praise towards God.

~~~

God's grace to me had been extended all those years ago, back when I still was filled with hate and confusion. When I was misled by an attitude that was almost pharisee-like: I disliked these people, because I judged, and I felt that they didn't love God enough.

Yet, even while I was still in this sin, I knew in my heart that God wanted me to pray for my "enemies": People I didn't like. People I didn't understand; God's mercy and grace was imparted to me by Him inspiring this idea. I decided to write down all the names of the people I wasn't close to in teens, and I picked a name each night, and prayed for that person.

When I saw those sticky-notes in my room, this memory came back to me, and I praised God because I realized that intercession for those we do not understand, or agree with, is really really a huge blessing. The intercession was for them, but I realized that God intended it also for myself– God knew that my understanding of what the community of God is, had to change. Perhaps it has changed for all of us over time:

I see now that God is and has always been working in all of their lives. And mine as well. He knew back then, just what was needed. When I look at my Church community now, I cannot help but tear up, because I am so so proud of how we have grown, not just individually, but also together as a Church. And I am filled with much joy because I know that we continue to desire to develop these relationships with each other.

You are now people, that I look forward to getting together with. To spending time with. To sharing games and conversation and laughs with. I look forward to hearing your stories, and how you have been doing, what God has been doing in your lives. To sharing what God has been doing in my life. To finding ways that I can love you guys, and receive the love that you guys pour out to the people around you. I am very thankful for all the people in our fellowship. I see members who are trying to seek God in their lives, who are trying to understand Him and who are there for each other as well.

And finally, after five years (or something-the-like), I feel like Church, these people, is home.

Don't Wander too Far

Does it have to be that difficult? Does being with God, mean that we have to be unhappy? Does holding onto morals, obeying the law, honoring your parents, mean that you have to lose something significant, something fun? Is it worth it?

Why do we so often place Fellowshipping with God in a completely different place from having fun? Is it a very different place?

Its pretty harmless to hang out with friends who aren't Christians, but you have to be careful of who's influencing who.

And as a last note and to end this post,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Dating

I'm going to put the subject of this post right into the open. Dating in High school.

You can already hear it. I'm going to say you shouldn't. Well... you shouldn't.

Before you close this window, I'm going to interject and say, I understand perfectly why a teenager would want to start dating. Don't misunderstand me. I'm a teenager too, and I go through the same lonely feelings and sometimes I feel like I want to love seriously as well. After all, lots of other teenagers do it, why can't I? Aren't I as mature, if not, more mature than some of my friends?

Well, be honest with yourself. Would you say that you are more mature now than you were... oh about three years ago? It does wonders to wait to be even more mature before you start to date.

Three years ago, you might have felt bitterly towards someone else for contradicting, or not agreeing with you, possibly dissing you and your opinion. However, today, you might ponder deeper if a person did that to you. Is she having problems with something? At home? With other friends? Is she going through a hard time? We become wiser and more sensitive and sensible with time.

Over the next three years, what is the probability that you will gain even more understanding and ability to handle situations? What is the possibility of you gaining even more control over your emotions? You might have great control over your emotions now, compared to you going into desperation and hopelessness at the breaking of a friendship when you were twelve. (Not that you would be unaffected by your friend's departure now, but you would now probably try to patch things up sensibly and confront the problem trying to resolve it, thus strengthening understanding and relationship.) So you would probably gain even more control over your emotions in another few years time.

Don't we learn from our mistakes? From experience? Yes and no. We do, but do we humans really really have to learn everything the hard way? Truly, the younger you are, the more impact it will make in your future. It affects our society, how we think of a relationship, a marriage. You can gain so much more if you had a little patience!

I'm not saying its easy. No one wants to feel like they're the only one who doesn't have a partner. But keeping it at friendship isn't that hard is it? Getting to know each other better, seeing the worst and best sides of each other. Loving each other as friends. You can have just as much fun with friends, and friendships do last longer, and hold stronger.

Wait a little longer. Its worth it.

Youth

You're not going to be in your teenage years forever. So live like to the fullest while it lasts. Don't rush into growing up. Don't rush into anything, even relationships with a boy or girl. Teenage years isn't an excuse for being rash. Its a time for finding your path.

Don't let anyone look down on you just cuz you're young. But don't disrespect anyone just cuz they look down on you, or are younger or older or have a different view. Learn to look before you leap and love with passion but not careless abandon. Seek God in everything you do.

Looks for stories throughout your life and look for lessons in ever story that runs. You'll be amazed at what you can find.

Just because you do not know doesn't mean you're foolish. Take things you do not know as a point of helping you to learn, gaining more knowledge and ultimately gaining wisdom in your actions and decisions.

Identity

If you asked me if I would enthusiastically proclaim that I was a Christian in School, I might have cringed. Its somewhat fearsome, among people you don’t know very well, and whom don’t even have a religion or any particular belief. For most teenagers, this would be the case.

How can we live to glorify and worship God? How do we be non-hypocrites, “praising God” and being “Holy” in Church while being indistinguishable and blending into the crowd at school and when we’re not among other Christians? Its a challenge.

It might seem like an incredible leap of faith which would be crazy to take, but truly, if its what we want, if we really want to choose this path, there is no grey area. To live to worship, you cannot be of the world. If you don’t want to be “different”, if you don’t want to seem what they think is strange, then forget it.

It sounds harsh and extreme. But its a war. And wars are just that.

Know who you are, and choose who you want to be. You are His beloved. You are His chosen one. You are His child. You are His sibling. You are His bride to be.

Understand who you are. Understand who you were chosen to be.